“All My Children” legend Susan Lucci opened up about losing her husband of 52 years and how she’s learning to cope with grief.
The Erica Dane portrayer, 79, lost her husband, Helmut Huber in 2022 at age 84, just a month after suffering a stroke.
Speaking with PEOPLE, Lucci admitted she was completely lost after losing her beloved husband.
“The minute I fell in love like I did with my husband, I knew how vulnerable I was,” the soap veteran told the outlet. “I was completely lost [after he died]. And it’s so isolating. You feel so alone, even though I had the most wonderful friend … I am so grateful for the people who stood by me.”
Susan Lucci Gets Real About Grief in ‘La Lucci’
Lucci gives fans a deeper look into her grief in her new book “La Lucci,” which is slated for release on February 3. This it the follow-up to her 2011’s “All My Life: A Memoir.”
The “Dancing With the Stars” revealed that many of the words in “La Lucci” came to her in her sleep, adding that the healing process was much harder when she was awake.
“I felt like half a person,” she explained. “I could hardly remember that I was an actress. It didn’t mean anything to me. I thought, ‘Do I do that? Really?’ I thought at that time I probably will never go in front of a camera or go on stage again.”
In the book, Lucci also shared what she misses the most about Huber, whom she called “classically trained chef” with “great sense of humor.”
“Everything. It’s hard to say one thing,” the soap star added. “I just miss him, miss his presence, miss sharing things together, like coffee in the morning.”
Susan Lucci Doesn’t Fight Grief
Lucci admitted in “La Lucci” that these days, she wakes up every morning “looking for joy again.”
And while she finds happiness in work, travel, friends, and family, especially her grandchildren, she still experiences moments of grief.
“I don’t fight it,” the actress said. “I’m surprised sometimes by it. Certainly there are things like the holidays that are triggers — someone who should be sitting at the table. But I just go with it.”
When grief gets intense, Lucci looks back at the memories she shared with Huber, and the healing words he left behind: “After the rain, the sun she shines.”
““They still help me,” she added. “His words stick with me. He was really my rock.”
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Susan Lucci ‘Looking for Joy Again’ After Losing Husband of 52 Years